Dawson's Creek Day

It'd been so long since I watched it, but I still like it. I love it, really, deep down. Or possibly really close to the surface.

Anyway, Must dash off to bed, as I havent been sleeping enough lately, and have been exhausted at work. Still, I did get two out of three things done tonight that I intended to do. Number three I will do tomorrow at lunchtime. There are parcels to be sent anyway, and that's all good.

I am going to Splendour in the Grass. Absolutely maybe. I figure YYYs will do side shows, so maybe I won't. Depends. Whatever.

Uh, How We Operate comes out tomorrow I think. Shit. I'll have to pay a visit to JB. And Target, I need thermals, it's damn cold.

So very Sunday

Well, tonight I cooked dinner, lasange, and it was very good. I miss cooking, I should do it more, but I don't like our kitchen, and it's no fun cooking for myself, and Claire is rarely home in the evenings on the nights that I am. Not that that will be a problem soon, as Zoe and I seem to have good matching schedules for meals. Of course, she has Coeliacs, which is a whole new kettle of fish. I don't know how much sharing we will be able to do. I really have to tell Tineke I'm leaving. I just don't want to tell her and Brian together, because I don't want to have to deal with one of them asking why and me either having to lie, or point the finger at him and inevitably make a scene. Honestly, though, I don't think she'll care enough to ask. Still, it's her business and not his, so on principal I should tell her first, at least. Though I have no intention of telling him at all. So, well. Maybe I'll text her. Haha...

Um, I don't think I achieved anything else much today aside from dinner. Though I did talk to Mum for almost two hours which was fun. She makes me laugh, I'm looking forward to seeing her again in May. She's flying me up to QLD for Mothers day, so Im gonna have to ask for the following Monday off work. It'll be really good to see Luke again too. I miss him. I gotta say, being up there is gonna tempt me into moving back up to the gold coast, if for no other reason then just because its warmer. Melbourne is cold. It was lovely before, a steady 26-36 up until the first weekend of April, then it switched right into winter. Its 11 degrees at the moment. The only reason I'm not dead it because we have central heating. Im gonna miss that big time. And the free broadband. Still, it'll be nice to come home to a house that feels like mine, instead of this one, which doesn't anymore.

As far as the travels go, I'm thinking San Francisco before England. I blame you for that, Josh :*
I'll pop home in September I think, or maybe October. Perhaps try and co-ordinate it with a certain gig...

Fucking Hell, it's late, I'm going to sleep.

BALLS!!!!

I am obsessed! Obssessed I tell you!

New Music

Listening to Gorillaz, of all things. It's weird but not entirely bad.

Also having an IM meeting with a new project partner. On a Friday night. Lame. But I'm way too tired to party and I have to save my pennies for the fridge. Ah... and I'm sick still. It's not so bad. I'll live.

Ah, Phil.

The Tao of Tom gave mention to Phillip Pullman today, and although I'd read the link before, it got me thinking about the novel, and my boredom with it and I'm wondering now what to do. I'm at a stage with it that it's half done, so it's too late to scrap it, and I still have passion for the story, I still get excited when I tell it, but there's just all these little scenes I still have to write to fill the gaps between the scenes I have written. And i can't be assed most of the time. It's taken me months to edit a tenth of what I have already. I'm hoping the urge to write will come back to me soon. Maybe once it's cold again, and my brain is working. Who knows though.

I've decided not to bother writing about BLACK KEYS because I'm not still reeling from it, so it can't have been that good. I dunno, it's hard to tell now, I think I've been spoiled. Too many gigs this past year. The real test will be Gomez. Will it still take me a week to get back to normal afterwards?

It's been an interesting evening of other people's sins

Good God, there are some things that just shit me. Really shit me, not like 'oh, my coffee is sub-par, that's no good'. I'm talking about ripping off people and people's work. I just had an argument with someone about ticket scalpers, a topic I'm not good with. I'm not holding this person's opinion against them, he's entitled to it, but thinking about ticket scalping fucks me off. It's just how it is. And then, and I don't care who reads this, because it's an issue I'm not afraid to argue about, I realised something else. It starts like this:

Someone posted a video they'd put together, on the Gomez forum. I watched it, and thought, 'hmm, that's familiar... looks a bit like those Liquid Skin Promo videos from a few years ago'. And I figured someone else would notice this, or that when someone complimented them on it the person who posted the video would say, 'oh yeah, the footage I used is from these video clips from 1999, cool huh?' But neither of those things happened. So, I went back and had a look at the Liquid Skin Promo videos. Busted.

I'll explain. There are seven short, 20sec or so video clips that are made up of a few even smaller video clips of Gomez pissing about at home and what-not, all faded into one another. Each one of the seven has a soundclip of a different song off the album playing over it, and the name of that song at the beginning and end of the clip. They were used for promotional purposes when the album came out. Anyway, this forum person who posted this new video has basically (by which I mean literally) chopped off the song title from each end and run all seven together, not rearranging the sequences or anything, and chucked another song over the lot of them. Oh, and then put a still of the band at the beginning and end. And then graciously accepted praise for it. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but, POOR FORM. Maybe I'm being a snob, because I know how to work video editing programs enough to know how piss-easy a job that would be, and maybe this shits me more than others because I went to art school and got taught that ripping off other people's work is both lame and illegal. Maybe. But maybe I'm right. I don't think that they made enough of an artistic impact on the original footage to take credit for it now. I'm not saying that this person deserves no credit at all, maybe I should be taking into account that what I consider easy is still an amazing feat of skill to many people. But hey, Credit where credit is due. Everywhere it's due.

So now, I wait. For someone to tell me I'm being too harsh, or a bitch, or whatever. I don't give a fuck. Bring it on.

Oh Lordy

Two Black Keys shows in 24 hours, and a train to Geelong. I will explain later, when I have the ability.

Down to 2h10m

I feel okay, not 100%, but okay. I am fiendishly hungry though. I may have to go scout a nice Caesar salad before the chow... (I mean Show. See, food on the brain.) And pray it doesn't give me food-poisoning, or my fantasy of curling up next to a toilet listening to the band play through the wall may come true. Not that that was really a fantasy. Seriously, it wasn't. I'm not that nihilistic. I'm not. Shut up.

Five and a half hours to go

I am not well. Sick. Under the weather. It sucks ass. Black Keys come on in five and a half hours, and I don't even know if I'll be alive then. What a fucker of a long weekend. Of course, there's no way I'm not going to the gig. I may actually go out soon and find me some codral or something. Not that there are gonna be pharmacies open, as it's a public holiday, so, like, fuck. I may just have to settle for panadol. Or Barcardi. Whichever is closest to my deathbed. Dinner. Also problematic, as it means moving. SIGH. Claire was sick for Ian Ball and didn't go, and I swore that I would never be sick enough to miss any or all of Gomez, which is true, I would spend all night in the bathroom, spewing, if it meant I got to hear them through the wall. But Black Keys... I like them lots and lots, but I don't know. I'm definately going tonight, this isn't sick enough to keep me home, but it's making me think there IS a sick enough to keep me home. Which is shameful. SHAMEFUL. It's a testiment to my extreme stubbornness that I'm going. It's at that achey stage and everything. I feel generally passable though, but drugs would help. (Paracetemol drugs, kids, not the real ones) Bollocks. I was so looking forward to being excited about this. I'm talking shit. I know this, but my brain is broken. I had some awsome fever dreams last night though. Me and Claire went out to Brunswick street to 'shop' and ended up eating dinner at Bimbo's, the $4 pizza place. Usually, they're $4, on Saturdays they aren't, they're 'the regular price', which is $8. The pizza was not worth more than $4, I swear it. That was the shittiest 'proscuitto' I have ever tackled. Tough, half fat, and not nice. Still, a comfortable place. We almost fell asleep on the couch after we'd eaten, actually. Probably looked like we were a couple, which is funny, but not not unusual. We are like cats. It pisses the other flatmate off, as we tend to sit on top of each other on the couch (it's warmer) and she's all, 'there's a whole other couch, why are you both sitting on the same one?' I think, maybe, she wasn't hugged enough as a child. Cuddles are lovely. Maybe she's just pissed because everyone expected me and her to get on better than me and Claire. I don't know what people were thinking there - Tineke and I have vaguely similar career-type interests (we both do design, though very different types) but Claire is more of a match for me mentally, she thinks similarly, and a lot, which I appreciate. I love her to little bits and pieces. She shares more of my musical tastes as well, and is more spontaneous. And she dances. And then there's cuddles on top of that. At times she makes me miss Lucy more than usual, and Sara. But that's a part of life I'm just living with. Though... Im getting all doubtful about the UK, thanks to both my own perceptions and to Siobhan, who flat out told me not to go. Which is fair. Scummy scummy England... why do I want you so bad? I think I just need change, and England is different enough, but at the same time, the UK is still home in an ancestral sense. And I want more music. I want there to be something on every week. Australia is a huge step up from NZ in the way that bands actually come here, but the lure of London is still strong. And as much as I hate to admit it, there's a certain draw to the US as well. And yet, I still miss Grey Lynn, and going to Whipping Cats, and seeing Che in the supermarket. Home is still home, even when you live somewhere completely different. I wonder, if I end up hitched and sprogged in somewhere amazing and beautiful, and perfect, will Auckland still feel so much like home? Or will home change? Maybe Melbourne isn't quite enough to transcend my first home? Fucking hell, I'm babbling. I never even explained the crazy fever dreams... Well. This guy I used to be best friends with in high school, Matt, is in Melbourne at the moment. I was meant to meet up with him and Katherine (another ex-pat) last night, but, obviously had a fever, and was tired, and wanted to save my health points for tonight. So, anyway, I came home from Bimbo's, fell asleep, and dreamed(dreamt?) that Matt and I were married, which is fucked in itself, and that he for some reason, had no neck, like a body builder or something. Then I had another dream in which I wasn't married to him, but was, in fact, er, actually, I forget, but I promise it was weird. There may have been some pornographic elements, and something to do with the police. I don't know. I'm gonna nap now, I think, or I'll never survive tonight. I'll proof-read this tomorrow, it's probably a mess.

Potentially dodgy beef

Hey up. Damn you, Rexy, you got that greeting in my head. Yeah, I just ate, and I'm not sure it was a good idea. My meats were a day past their best, but they were also living in the top of the fridge by the naff icebox bit and were partially frozen when I pulled them out. So they should be fine, they didn't smell rank or anything, but I'm still a little... concerned. Paranoia is making my stomach churn. Or it could just be that I was really hungry... what kind of fool has dinner at 11.30pm? I wasn't really intending to have dinner at all, but I went into the kitchen and made tea, and thought I should probably have something substancial since I would otherwise end up eating McVities Caramels til I spewed, so I ended up cooking. *Rie's Wagon* I don't regret it... yet. Give it time to fester in my stomach and breed nausea.

On a weird note, and I mean really really weird, considering the state of things recently, I got a raise at work today. Of $2.20 an hour. Fucking hell, man, that just doesn't make any sense. I know my new pay rate is what I deserve, what I should have been getting all along, but it is a very odd time for my boss to decide to give me more money, since last week, my job was being advertised... I don't understand. I think he actually may still fire me. And I still don't care. That place is insane, but would make the best tv show. I should start writing episodia.

Mac has released Boot Camp - Windows for Mac, apparently, and I feel my respect for them slipping away. The intel chip is one of those things you can look at from multiple perspectives (or perspectii) and understand, but I can't think why anyone would want Windows on their Mac. It's kinda like buying a pair of Manolo Blahniks and jazzing them up with a Suzanne Clip. I can see how it would be useful at times, but really, what's the attraction? Or the point?

Sour Skittles are good, but the green ones kinda taste a bit like wet dog.

I've decided the whole live journal thing is creepy and weird and a bit stalkerish. It's a good idea on some levels, but on others, an open invitaion for strangers to observe the inner sanctums of your brain, or at least my brain, since I'm likely, at some point to forget this isn't a book, and write down something ridiculously secret and fuck myself over. I'm too used to being able to hide my life under my mattress...

I threw out my old journals when I left NZ, it was really liberating, and the strangest feeling. I'd never thrown out a journal before. I used to keep them in this box, and I read back on the one I covered in fur in 6th form and cried and cried. It was truely horrible to be reminded how it felt to be 16. I wish I'd had happier things to write about, or at least been less articulate in my misery. A lot of it concerned Nik, though I don't think I ever wrote his name, petrified someone would find it. That's happened before - my oldest friend in the world, along with my boyfriend, found and read an old diary that had been lying out in my room. They hadn't read much of it, but I freaked out anyway, and rightly so. I was furious. That, actually, is probably in my top three moments of pure rage. Along with Mum interupting me just as Sirius died, and... My Aunt going through all my stuff, thinking it was the stuff I was throwing out when I left, not the only stuff I was keeping. It sounds like a simple misunderstanding, but she's an impetuous drunk who never listens and I cannot relate to her anyway, let alone pass off something like that as a good-natured mistake. My mother was partly to blame as well, which didn't help, she makes me angry a lot, but I expect that's normal. I get her though, I understand why she does the things she does that annoy me. She's very different to me. She's very nice, but occationally unfair in her criticism, whereas I'm a bit of a sourpuss, really, but could never hassle someone about things they have no power over. I only mock people's decisions, their poor choices, and their shitty taste in music. And occationally I'll mouth off about how stupid someone is, but it's usually true, and that's a privilege of the sub-genial anyway.

I can't think of words strong enough to describe just how good Notice is. It's one of those songs that's gonna make me cry. It has all these qualities I can't understand. It's like a cold day, walking alone through a city at dusk, when you can feel it's about to rain. It's very... right. There's a person out there somewhere who has these qualities, and one day I'm going to meet them, and have all their babies. All of them.

That's enough for tonight, I've lost track of what I was saying.

Love to Micah, Elian, and Oliver.

I wish I hadn't felt the need to do this.

I hate these things.

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Black, my new Ian Ball shirt, in fact. It's my new pajamas.

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
A: Lunch

Q: Whats the color of your bedroom walls?
A: Yellow.

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
A : $2.20, 10c short of the ice cream I wanted on the way home.

Q: Whats your favorite sport?
A: Seal Hunting

Q: I cant wait till..?
A: Black Keys, 16th April. And the weekend. I like weekends.

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: When I was 6.

Q: Who got you to join myspace?
A: I don't know, but it was Josh that harrassed me into using it. I think David may have suggested I sign up, come to think of it...

Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
A: Half a packet of gingernuts and a cup of tea.

Q: Is tom on your friends list?
A: Sadly, yes, I feel mean deleting him.

Q: Look to your left. Whats there?
A: The wall, with a business card for the Grand Hotel that has my best friend's phone number written on it, stuck to it with a sticker of a fishy.

Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: Uh... I stole Ben Rood's shirt that he left at my 19th birthday party... but that's not borrowing, cos I have no intention of giving it back.

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A: not on purpose.

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: My last birthday.

Q: Would you have a problem if your friend went after your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
A: No. Better them than me.

Last..

1. Person you saw: Emma

2. Shopped: today, I needed tights, it's cold.

4. messaged: Izzy

3. phoned: Lucy? I don't think she was home though.

5. Song you listened to: Rhythm and Blues Alibi (the phone duet)

1. What are you doing now: not sleeping.

2. What are you doing tonight: it is tonight

3. What are you going to eat for lunch: not the gnocci again, that was shit. I'll have pancakes.

Tomorrow..

1. Is: Finally Friday.

2. Got any plans: Sleeping

3. Goal: Go to Rose St Market in the morning.

4. Dislikes: Having to pay for porn on the internet.

5. Do you have to work: yes


1. Currently love someone: several people, but there's only one person I fled the country to avoid loving.

2. Like someone: People generally suck ass a bit, but I'm impressed by Lani, she's great.

***

Tired of questions by 15 year olds who have never lived in the real world? Here's one for the folks who have actually lived outside the bubble...

1. Worst damage you ever took in a fight? I don't take damage, I only supply it.

2. Most money you ever owed a utility company? Our water bill this trimester is a fucking shocker.

3. Last time you got kicked out of a bar? JOSH! Uh, a couple years ago, and we were doing so well in the quiz...

4. Longest time you slept in a car? few hours.

5. Most fucked up nickname you've ever been given? YIT.

6. Worst job you ever had? Telemarketing

7. Shortest job you've ever had? See above.

10. Food that you would eat til you puked? Is Liquor a food?

11. Food that even looking at makes you puke? Salty water, squid, pipis, mussels, oysters.

12. What music saved your life? All of it.

13. Person you miss the most in the world? Bill Hicks

14. Worst movie you've ever seen? Tess of the D'Urbervilles

15. Best movie you've ever seen? Stupid question.

16. Craziest shit you've ever done sober? Jumped off a bridge.

17. Ever almost die? Yep, near drowning at the keyhole in Piha.

19. Best place you have ever lived? Keppell Street Crackden

20. Worst place you have ever lived? Here

21. Bad habit you have had for the longest time? Correcting people.

22. Noise that makes you want to punch people? "TIJUANNNNAAAAA"

23. Your favorite tattoo? Luke's lotus

24. Least favorite tattoo?Anything tribal

25. At your poorest, were you a ramen noodle or mac-n-cheese afficianado? I was a soup girl.

26. Most money you have ever spent on a single meal? $35

27. Best gift you ever got? A bowling ball, a clockwork snail, my red sundress from Fast and Loose

28. Best pet you ever had? Phil Collins, my bear.

Coupla Photos

Wednesday means Friday is closer.

I am so damn hungry... and so much more lazy than that. I'll just gonna sit here and not eat anything, and let my tummy gurgle away in it's little tummyworld, while I lay and do nothing. Which is nice, at the moment, because the last couple days were far too exciting.

Friday: Almost fucked any chance I had of keeping my job, but didn't, then came home to find actual real life psycho on the porch with an actual real life baseball bat that was real life broken and all good-for-stabbing. Met the neighbours.
Saturday: Locked myself out of the house for four hours in the cold and the dark because I'm an idiot. I April Foolsed myself. Met the other neighbours.
Sunday: Little recollection... I think I meant to do things and then didn't. Oh yeah, didn't go to the shoeshop, couldn't find the receipt. Will break the damn things in if it kills me. I may have almost went to the NSC with posters and then piked on that as well... I did make/customise a tshirt for someone though, but I'm not sure if they liked it. It would be nice if they'd let me know.
Monday: Early meeting at work. Did not get fired. Hurrah! Experienced NauseaFromHell, for no good reason, hid in the bathroom thinking about how death would tickle in comparison. Saw Ian at NSC, was really really good, made up for the shitty day at work.
Tuesday: Was absolutely buggered, after nowhere near enough sleep (totally worth it). Saw Ian again at NSC. Equally as lovely at the night before. Drank less though, out of consideration for remaining liver cells.
Today: Had trouble focussing eyeballs on computer, and in keeping eyelids fixed in the upright position. Have, however, an amazing sense of general loveliness giving me cuddles, I think because the weather is turning, and I'm a winter person, and How We Operate has wiggled under my skin and I like it lots. I am at that stage of thinking I might love it, but not wanting to say it too soon.

"Vroom"

T he world is quite nice today. This will all change, I imagine, when I try these new 2min noodles... I am afraid of their 5 sachet-ness, but at least they don't make sounds like a hundred screaming dementors. Damn Grand Prix.

I am about to go up to the shoe shop, where I found my most recent Mary-Janes, and swap them for something that, you know, FITS. I don't know what compelled me to buy them in the first place, except that I needed new shoes for work, I was sick of traipsing in 35 degree heat and I wanted it to be over and done with. Of course, Im afraid that it has more to do with the attendants being helpful and kind, and me not having to balls to admit that they just didn't have anything I wanted (that fit). So I bought these nice looking black things, and then tried them on at home, and realised that breaking them in would be far too painful to endure, and I should take them back and swap them for the less nice looking ones that actually fit, and get over my need for cute shoes.

I wish I had it in me to stick up for myself a bit more, in those sorts of shopping situations, but I may as well be wishing for a unicorn.

Shit. Note to self: NO NOODLES OVER THE COMPUTER...